aaaaaah
we are all vulnerable
the more we want something, the more vulnerable we get

faith is a beautiful thing. i think i'd like to have that child-like faith i once had.
ah the woes of age, the woes of age

i'm running back to You in baby steps
i really am this time
|


you might be a wispy cloud of fire
icy to a finger's touch yet smooth as a silver-plated blade
|

universal identity - we are all prodigal sons
I repeat, we are all prodigal sons.

Here is my little fluffy cloud of realization:
Running from the (marvelous) light is equivalent to running from home, for God is where our comfort resides. Seeking unconditional and indescribable love on earth? Well, good luck but be prepared for a mean-spirited little thing called Failure. For me, the ultimate peace lies in the open arms of the Father, who's ready to throw a boomboompow celestial party high above when we run back into his firm embrace.

Let's give them a reason to party.

(just a thought)


i am turning seventeen in less than a month
ahh, the pressing woes of age
|


trust is the utmost gift one can ever bless someone else with
|


im cold
i need sugary goodness to generate heat

like
a toasted poptart
with green and purple frosting on top
not that there's such a flavor
but those are my favorite colors

i will trade a sqooshy hug for a poptart each


beloved winter, i hope you meet a tragic death asap
|


if i had a mood ring
it would show black
and little bacteria spirals of oozing - bloody tar


and
maybe baby
it will start to flash a bright neon green

blink
blink

blink




so bored

drummers play with fire
psychics play with fools

i like to play with words
|

10 11 09

|

this is what it'll be like after my IB exams
in the air cupcake sprinkles everywhere

colorful poppers and little explosions

hardcore partying and music so deafening that ______

boys and girls and whispers untainted by IB speak

piercings hair bleaches and all things forbidden

adrenaline in all legal forms

cute DJs wishing happy birthdays

laser beams and screaming neon lights

in the dark

in the dark
in the dark

and your face lit by a soft beam of blushing pink
|


bromance is the most adorable form of love i have ever seen
|

Queen of Happy Faces
(as I have just informed my friend named Zhi Ying) My guts have ran out of words and I have nothing further to spew out onto this poor blog despite all attempts to regurgitate some sort of vocab or language or shtuff. I also cannot shorten my sentences anymore as you can probably tell from the previous line I just typed with my hands that have fingers with fingernails stained with rubbed off slutty purple nail polish put on for the sake of wasting some time in between study sessions.

I think I hate my blog because it has no purpose. It's not really meant for people to read, because if people actually follow this blog I'm pretty doomed- what with the shittious content that I'm posting. Plus how ignorant and disgusting I sound because of what I blog about. (especially when I've since stopped haha-ing on my blog) Not forgetting the words I constantly invent. Like shittious.

Rainbows starshines and Unicorns anyways I want to sleep earlier today again because I find long hours of sleep very rejuvenating. Like a jubjub. My similes are mating with one another hence my mind is exploding with mutated DNA-wired simile babies that do not make sense.

Like as rejuvenating as a jubjub. On second thought maybe I got that from Neopets.

and for the sake of making my virtual self sound more pleasant,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL :]



Friday tomorrow, so boomz.
|

don't point out the obvious
I went to Kodak today to develop the roll of film I took with my new Holga. Woman said the machines used for developing 120 are pretty ancient so I'd have to wait a while. I said okay call me when you can and started my 15 minute walk back home.

passed by the Shanghai American School. Just fyi, I go to the Singapore International because I have this burning pride for Singapore secured rock steady in me. Okay not really, but it was just part of God's boomboompow plan of placing me in- okay not the point.

So while I was aimlessly flipping my phone up and down my hand this Caucasian kid/dude/man/boy vrooms by with his made-in-china motorcycle. Despite all unsaid and said and written and unwritten rules about vehicles not traveling on walking paths, he speeds up and whizzes right past me, screaming "NI HAO!" into my face.


...
?!?

I know what I just mentioned wasn't exactly the most insulting comment; but you know how a tiny spark can light off an entire town's tragic explosion? All I know is that I intensely dislike (didn't use the word hate; note the love) it when people just assume you don't speak English just because you're Asian. I -ahem- intensely dislike it that people undermine me and that certain non-Asians still harbor these stereotypes, even now in the peak of globalization.

But then again I realize that I do it too.

I undermine the local Chinese people. I go gasp oh my your English is so good when they utter a sentence or two without grammatical mistakes. I use English rapidly in the presence of local Chinese, assuming that they know nothing of the language. And just maybe, I do stereotype them as well. You know what? Scrap that. I do stereotype them.


To my friends and foes, deep deep down
we are all cruel and judgmental creatures with hearts spilling over with sticky black goo.
|

of strawberries and cotton sheep - i say yes
love is finding a bottle of new soap.

haha.

If you haven't noticed. I can be extremely lazy. Look at the last time I posted something - certainly reeks of rotten lazy to me.

When my soaps or shampoos run out, I actually dilute the last few squirts with water so I don't have to get a new bottle from the basement as soon. When the liquid soap is reduced to the airy bubblies of foam, I resort to using the little hotel bottles stocked somewhere in my bathroom.

So two days ago I ran out of body soap. It was my favorite flavor and I was a little angry because I no longer walked out of the shower exploding with the fragrance of green flowers anymore. So one day it runs out drop for drop, and I left the bottle headless (out of spite), with its sad spout dangling over the bottleneck miserably. Left for school.

I came back and bathed at 6pm. I exclaimed - oh no - and casually flicked my shower curtain in a buzzed shock of frustration because I was too lazy to get out of the shower to get a new bottle of soap.

It was then when I felt the eyes of a marvelously green-colored bottle rest on me.

My mom had seen the empty bottle and replaced it with a new one.

That, my friends, is love.

and this, my comrades, is a long and eccentrically composed post about my soapy anecdote.
|

tangy tango
this liberation's so so sweet
me and you (ironic juxtaposition)

call me starstrukk with an ass beginning and o-kay ending
i am a huge random bobble-head hahaha this is what happens when i'm happy

friends, foes alike
say hello to my beautiful life filled with light bulbs and christenings

I think I'd call my academics polka dotted for the time being. It's everywhere and anywhere like a repeated pattern of contagious measles flushing pink against a cancer white. Not cool at all. But I'm managing coping whatever you call trying to stay afloat. Life's good, it's all good. Good like coffee the color of an opaque shade of black on a rainy day.

There was pomelo in the fridge, so I had some from my cup because I was so lazy that I couldn't even bring myself to wash the bowl. (And now blogger underlines my pomelo word with an accusing red dotted line. ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT'S JUST A FRUIT NOT A SPELLING ERROR) pomelo pomelo pomelo there you go a plague of red ants. anyway, pomelo's good. and that's that before i go and finish my EE. (IB talk.)

and maybe one day i'll save the world
|

today in shanghai the skies are azure
yes, it's times like these
-
times like these when you truly appreciate your ability to breathe, to smell, to savor tender kisses of the wind.

shanghai is so beautiful when it chooses to be
|

God of Wonders
I want the world
to know Your name
to praise Your name
to shout Your name
for You make me speechless in Your presence
|


The woman is perfected.
her dead

Body wears the smile of accomplishment,
The illusion of a Greek necessity

Flows in the scrolls of her toga,
Her bare

Feet seem to be saying:
We have come so far, it is over

Each dead child coiled, a white serpent,
One at each little

Pitcher of milk, now empty.
She has folded

Them back into her body as petals
Of a rose close when the garden

Stiffens and odors bleed
From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower.

The moon has nothing to be sad about,
Staring from her hood of bone.

She is used to this sort of thing.
Her blacks crackle and drag.

Edge
by Sylvia Plath
|

we all like wonderful things
I like how blue skies and clouds make me feel like golden rainbows and mint green slushy ice cream.

I love my friends for making me feel like an edgeless field of morning dewy grass.
conversely
My nerves intertwine in your presence; sometimes you make me feel like a chili pepper. like icy snow chips off a frozen mountain. like ponies and blue ribbons. but on bad days you make me feel like a glass jar.

but you, you, you
you always make me feel like pink skies and full-maned unicorns,
like soapy bubbles and carnival music
like chocolate chips on chocolate chip cookies,
like green and red and blue airy balloons
like colorful umbrellas and sparkly sequins smiling in the face of the sun
like little secrets and hushed whispers and puppies prancing in abundant spaces
like the purple compartment on the Ferris wheel,
like surprise presents received on a blue day,
like dimples on rosy cheeks or a happy song on the radio

Maybe life really is that simple
Mayb it is a scavenger hunt for things that make you feel that way
be it people or a person or music or dance or silence or hobby

I've found a few of mine, I think.
or I'd like to think so.

Ultimately, they make me happy.
Happy is so understated. I'd like to be happy. Everyone would like to be happy. and at this point of time, I think I'm happy. And maybe with a few more happy points I could be joyous.

Okay i'm starting to realize how screwed up my head is, and how I'M BECOMING AN OLD AND NAGGY GRANDMOMMA WHO TYPES LONG BLOG POSTS THAT BORE THE BRAINS OUT O F EVEYRONE OH WOW LOOK EVN NOW MY SPLELING IS SCREWED
|

ready at the frontline
These days my head tends to fill itself with nirvana-inspired wispy clouds of fluff. I'm not sure if those princessy fluffs give me a larger capacity to imagine, or if they merely screw my head up.

And on some days I just want to ride an elephant in an exotic country and drink from a water pitcher under a blistering sun.

while on others I just want to stay in bed until the thunderstorms beat up my windows.

but now i want to sleep

and that's a pretty easy thing to accomplish dontcha think
too bad things aren't always what you think they are. I might turn insomniac, or anorexic, and I still don't know why I link those two things together. And I know they aren't no jokes. Apologies once again, this is what happens when its 1:35am and I'm going through a helluva rollercoaster ride. I'm |--| this close to tumbling.
|

extremes
the most feminine thing i probably do is stress-eat

by far today has been the worst day of my senior year in high school
so i decided to devour (yes, devour is probably the right word) the cornflake supply in my kitchen

not a good idea
i'm about to explode from the fiber but maybe i'll shit it all out

and now i'm on a caffeine high
i'm only human sometimes
and i want to feel the sun from both front and back without conditions

give me something unconditional

i like to blog in spurts of words
because i dont have to care about grammar
or punctuation for that matter
|

i want to be two creatures
i make things hard for myself

because i always try to balance lightly on the fence

even though i know -- clearly

which side i should be crossing over to

but as you might have observed or realize

my mind does not fail me

in the devilish act of churning out excuses

because hey you know what

i think i have a good sense of balance

but it makes me miserable


i will stop spurting out random lines of thought now
|

i hate
how i see you everywhere even though you're not here

how you want me but restrain yourself from doing so

how i know that it's my fault that you do so

how (like what i mentioned a near 3 months ago) that we spell after

how i know it myself, but you don't and that makes it confusing

how vulnerable i feel around you

how skillful you are at pushing out all other things in my life and hogging everything by yourself

you
|

volume <
so i've just realized that i'm noisy and boisterous and i promise to become a sweet little girl who does nothing except nod in agreement from tomorrow onwards.

:3

look, i even use demure smilies now! :3

and i know i should really update about school even though hardly anyone really cares if i update or not but still here's a quadruple alliteration for you

school sucks smelly shit
|

it's 7-8 degC cooler today
i hope it's Fall, are you Fall?
i like how you descend with soft sheer liquidity

and maybe
just maybe
(answer me this one time and say that)
you'd be more edifying than Summer

-------------------------------------------------------------
I WANNA MAKE UP RIGHT NANANA
Akon makes up some stupid but addictive shizz
and I think I've really had enough of the sticky sunny weather
|


oh jolly honey fuzzy crazy won't you grant me one wish
|

caffeine
today, tomorrow- two completely wasteful days at school

im so tired.
my piano teacher is coming in half an hour.
my piano exam is coming in one month.

im so tired.
my cup is empty there is no more coffee.
my straw is not sucking anything else up from the coffee bag.

i never knew there were coffee bags. they're just like tea bags. except filled with coffee powder. so awesome. and its kopi-o brand. singapore ftw. i love singapore. im too tired to type. i will stop. and start typing long coherent sentences. maybe not. bye.

ps chit. can we skype sometime. or something. i kind of miss your existence. okay not really. i miss your existence very much.
|

siblings

|

I like my comfort,
which is a couple of things

lemon soda hichews, the E chord, HotSpot Shield (a proxy that gives me my rightful right to access YouTube and Facebook), my best friends, my IKEA heart pillow, dance, seeing your face, sleep, the chair I sit on during meals at the dining table, my best best best best bestest friend, tissues, Milo, youth groups, blankets, God.

Isn't it interesting; how we all have different comforts?

One of my best friend's comfort is buying high-end baby food and eating glass bottles of it with his girlfriend.

I do not joke.

Undoubtedly, not comforting for me at all.
|

The driving force
Had good japanese yummum with Su today. good talks, good talks
|

the last
summer break
special indeed

kim kyoung ha, I MISS YOU AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU!!!!!! >:(


this is the last summer i have to idle around and dread going to school.

next summer'll be drenched disgustingly in teary goodbyes and farewells
people dispersing into nothingness, universities colleges gapyears NS
being in an international school: here's one of the main problems
HOW ON EARTH (literally) ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A REUNION? with everyone living in different countries, reunions are not merely a drive away to our favorite get together place- they are plane trips away. ohmy, now i'm really dreading this.

my last year in high school will be filled with ...
aimless banter and singing and dancing and horseriding

you know what?
i have never ridden a horse.
the stupid things at the singapore zoo don't count.
|

you you you i will miss









jumping to something utterly unrelated
It's 4:31 am and I am still awake. Dear friends, I regret to inform you that I have been bitten by a viciously foul creature called the mosquito. My gut feelings tell me that this particular mosquito has a particularly powerful....power. (Look, lack of sleep is taking its toll) I do not know why, but I have lost 89.485% of my sense of touch. I have mosquito bites all over me, I know that they itch but I cannot feel them when I try to hit 'em. Why hit, you ask. Because trying to scratch my mosquito bites will only leave ugly scars that are ugly. (Once again, someone kill the mosquito I need my sleep back) So I hit 'em. or like put ice on 'em. Pity that my family is sound asleep, if not I could just run down and dispense chunks of ice out of the fridge to ease my suffering.

I am starting to sound very melodramatic.
But people, it is melodramatic.

It is definitely unnormal to be practically numb to everything else.
It is even more unnormal to be awake at 4+ in the morning because of a hungry mosquito.
and last of all,
it is the most unnormal that I am using the word unnormal because -oh no- it doesn't exist.

dictionary dot com tells me that an itch is a peculiar tingling.
A peculiar tingling indeed.

help me
|

a story of homecoming

|

your voice is the key to unleashing wistful calamity
If there's really one thing that sets a person from another, it's probably his or her voice
|

please just let me us her him they
party like rockstars
|

unicorn on cob
I mix around with a group of friends of different genders. (haha i make it sound like that are many genders but no, my friends; in kerri dictionary there's only four (: ) and thus having these male human beings hanging around also equates to the occasional drop by at the arcade. 
|

i piss the poop out of myself
because i realized that all my wordy posts are so boring that i scroll through them all.
|

I don't always get what I like
I'd like to think that in life, there will always be people (and i mean- always) who are there for you. To put it downright plainly- wouldn't it really suck if there weren't? I'd like to think that some years down the road, I'd still be able to call my best friend without any prior hesitation or fear of potential awkward silences.

We always say that today's modern technology diminishes all boundaries, that we'd all still be able to talk, to laugh, to show each other silly hand-drawn fishes on one another's hands. ("Now we have no excuses left to not contact each other!") Ah yes, but aren't humans ever so well-known for making up excuses? Worse still, there are no excuses; only empty promises left to fill. I guess everyone prefers to ignore the gaping hole (i'm shamed to admit: me too) I'm not sure if i mean it when I say I miss her -- or I miss him -- or I miss them. Rewind that a little- I mean I do, I really do. When I see them in persons, live laugh love along with everyone then yes- I miss them when they're gone. (Does it strike you as odd that I used "them" instead of "you people"?) But as time slowly ebbs away that bulk of pining... I move on, you move on, we move on.

Nevertheless, I'd like to think that there are those few people who are buried so deep in your heart that no matter how much strength you use to try to dig them out, or how top-quality your shovel is... or how brutal you try to unearth- okay i'll stop here - you will never be able to do so. In spite of oceans (literally, okay?) (wow today is parentheses festival) (i think i tend to whisper more when i speak of these things) (what was i talking about?) period, restart. In spite of literal oceans stealing aspects of your friendship - the talking, conversing out loud and face-to-face part - (wow today is hyphen festival too) I'd like to think that there'll still be that essence of them in you.

I know that I dont always get what "I'd like to think", but I bask in the comfort of knowing that there are that very few people that I think of once in a while. Well, not because of a song - or word - or even their favorite food that reminded me of them. I'm not sure how to describe this, but it's like I have a reduced version of them in myself, never failing to bug me constantly (in a good way, of course). They remind me of who I am-

I'm sorry for the parentheses and the hyphens, they really complicate things when matters are actually so simple
I don't have the capacity to miss and love everyone
and neither do they have the capacity to do so either

Ah stupid emo post inserted above- I think I might have run dry of all forms of humor for the rest of my life until I'm an old wobbling granny eating porridge while my dentures soak in a glass

(I dictionary.com-ed "Emo", because I never truly got to the meaning of it. It wasn't a word. In fact, they offered me what they thought I might have spelt wrongly - "Elmo". Seriously. I think I'll go back to my trusty tangible dictionary)


Happy parentheses/hyphen day, my jolly friends.
|

i fly like paper
high like planes

all i wanna do is BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!

and a KKKKA-CHING!

and take ya money

|

i'm typing in the dark
not because i'm fond of doing things mysteriously to kill boredom
|

in lieu of a post filled with blabber and blubber and rubber
(rubber was included merely for rhyming purposes)
|

baoskdjlkasj
lakjsdlskjdlksmklmskamdklas
|

STRANDED
OKAY
|

im scared, and this is not a joke
last day of school was yesterday
first day of my summer break is today

in an hour i'l be heading to the airport
transiting flight in beijing
then to washington dc

im scared because i'l be bored on the 13 hour long flight to the states
im scared because i'l have to figure out how to get to the hotel from the airport

but im not scared because i'l be traveling alone and hence can take my own sweet time and saunter from place to place

GYLC starts on sunday.
ends after 12 days.
then i'l be meeting my dad and start on the long arduous journey of college hunting

im scared because i might not be eligible for certain ivy league schools
im scared because i might not be suitable for certain schools

but im not scared because i know God has a bingbangswish plan that'll fall into place soon enough

so babes and hunks see you in three weeks possibly when i get back here to the land of polluted air
im getting more scared because im not emotionally ready at all
i miss you and you and you and you but you especially
and i find it funny how things were left, so fake but enough for us to take away for summer break to savour

ahhhh summer
bye world
|

one thing about living in china
is their extensively fresh resources.
|

Definitions
Ambivalent
|

make me wonder (and wonder)
a ginormous pile of laundry.
cheery yellows, olive greens, salmon pinks, royal purples
shorts tees skirts socks blouses dresses underwear

the simplest explanation;
there's way too much.
seemingly, all we are able do is stand there bewildered. take the view in with a deep sigh..
then walk away because we don't know where to start.
yes. ditto for cramming for my finals.
too much information for a much too small brain.

anyhoos, my gmail informs me that it is wentworth miller's birthday today.
OHMYPEAPOD HE'S 37!!!!!! fancy the girls worldwide (who are probably decades younger) having humongous fangirly crushes on him.

dude's a pedo who broke out of prison.
|

blind boys (Ethan is a snail)
it ought to be summer now, so why isnt the sun flooding from my windows?! i cooped myself up at home today and yea it was pretty hot but the sky? a musty dull gray. 2 weeks ago i gave global warming a deep (soulful, haha) think and realized that the world's weather's pretty screwed up by us.

so i took to going green by sleeping without my air con.
okay not really but with my air con really is out to suffocate me

i hope i sweat to death every night and
burn all my fats, 3 parts fattyacids+1 part glycerol and all.
|

reverse psychology
long time no see babes and hunks
i have lost all linguistic abilities to unreal tv shows about unreal highschool kids doing unreal things in the unreal world of beverly hills. yes, 90210 is soooo crappy but shamefully addictive.

my finals are in a week.
why am i still watching shows on the internet?

i'm thinking summer. cartwheels on sinking sand. ice cream sodas, extra icy. sun-kissed faces glowing pink.
jason mraz. sea bathed feet burning on hot pavements. striped towels strewn over lounge chairs.

i
want
that.

and i have a week left to cram. there's this really odd relation between feeling relieved and feeling stressed.
the more i cram, the more hair i drop over mugging, the more sleep i lose, the more pressure i feel;
the more i'd enjoy my play after end of years exams.

yeh. major self convincing going on here.
|

epiphany, maybe?
It was during our IB Business and Management class yesterday that I had this humongous gigantic epiphany.

No, it wasn't the teacher who sparked it off.
or the textbook.
or anything the like.

I have a friend who dyed her hair bright luminous red at the beginning of the school year. Today, her newly grown black roots are nearly 10cm in length. Yes, stretch your fingers as wide as they go and its the length from the tip of your thumb to the tip of your pinky.

So it hit me. hard. square. right in the face. at that moment.

For her hair to grow out so long, it must have been a long time since we trudged into the school as IB first years, ready (or not so ready) to conquer IOPs, EEs, TOK essays and IAs. With a quick count on my fingers, it had been 9 months. 9 full months, nearly three quarters of a year!

We've been through so much already; our exams are coming up in 3 weeks. So all the best people, we're going to do good.
|

i have moved on to the next chapter
and the diagram i drew of the heart
looks like a dysfunctional tree with fat trunks sticking out from all sides.
|

Matthew 10:39
"Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it."


I have a biology test next week and i can't draw a digestive system for nuts.
Somehow my liver looks like a big umbrella hovering around spaghetti strands.
|

you're such a messy mind-boggling confusion
I AM NOT SCARY AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE SCARED OF ME!!!!!!!!!!

:) I AM SO TIRED AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TYPING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!

i will cram ib music today. and english. and ah why am i listing down all my to-dos here. i will stop. i will be a good girl and shower. i will watch the american idol result show tonight. i will practice my stupid transposed chords. i will not speak for the rest of the day because my throat hurts. i will drink water. i will cram math. i will try not to be so scary and unapproachable from tomorrow onwards. i will spend at least two hours with myself tonight. i will not think of silly things like how the banana i ate today had a huge bruise okay maybe not. i will take a nap after i shower.

i will try to do what i need to do.

i will not be confused by what i just wrote.
i will spend more time with God than with myself tonight.

i will stop blogging in this format.
|

i love you for your gaily footsteps





























meet the people who fuel me with insane sanity amongst the chaos



this is what i'm looking forward to:
a cessation of work-- bringing
seas and beaches, ample sun,
and naked feet kissing hot sand

summer's rubbing off on me and this is not the most ideal time to be cramming for finals and such. it hurts to have to keep reminding myself that i need to studystudystudy when its so sunny outside and all i want to do is

-

not study

.

i'm basking in the prospect of having the following four slack-ish days to myself :) i like my me-me time, my me-God time, and my me-friends time. been thinking of the future lately. no no not the emo what am i going to do about my miserable life kinda way, but more of the its one more year to university kinda way. one more year to liberation, perhaps. (and separation; i put this in 'fine print')

it'd be different if i were in singapore. graduating from high school would not serve much of a difference because everyone'd still be in the same little city. but here? we'd be so spread out globally... ohmy. i'm looking forward to university, no doubt. yes, i really am. and i need to studystudystudy to be able to attain true liberation at the idealidealideal university.


i tend to repeat words while self-convincing, or rather self-psychoing my willpower to do something.
|

tried to clear my cluttered laptop and found:

|

Achilles Heel
Recently I've taken to reading Greek Myths, partly because the IB music exam requires its students to do a full in-depth analysis of Dido and Aeneas, an opera by Henry Purcell which is based on the epic poem "Aeneid".

In it, lovers kill themselves at the prospect of living without the other. Empires are seized and Sorceresses plot to destroy Queens.

I think i would like to visit Greece one day :)
________________________________________________________________

so the past few days haven't exactly been the best in a certain aspect. but through this something else more beautiful emerges. i mentioned how i was (insert person's name)-free for a day or two and...

"BUT YOU'RE NOT FLO-FREE AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!!! i'm so sorry but you can't (A)"

haha. moments like these... go a long, long, longgggg way.

when the wind beckons
you must heed its call

|

“don't be such a kerri!"
english IOP.

only IB students would start grieving at that acronym, ha-ha.

soar was wholesome. Su's message made me realize the importance of having a 100% pure quality quiet time with God daily. I used to do my quiet times with my laptop and phone beside me. As long as there was a BZZZZT, my quiet time would be disrupted and... well, end of story.

it was nice seeing everyone again, esp my fellow IB first year! :] fretting together over our EE topic, english IOP and TOK presentation was both amusing and enlightening. carinne then introduced me to the ultimate way to release IB anger-- HEAVY METAL

my ears almost died from the her itouch blasting shouting screaming.

anywayyyysies,

i am about to make my mundance life a little more interesting by calculating the amount of time i spend in the toilet each day

no not really

what im really going to do is homework

.... no content to blog anymore. bye.
|

i am, no doubt, relishing every second
of my new found freedom.


the hindrance is fading, and although a little part of me still reminisces of the recent past, i've come to terms with it. yeah yeah i made a deal with myself and a promise to God.

and it's a pretty good deal, and a pretty big promise at that.

i am unable to express my relief because it is too large to condense into words.

"...and remember, I am with you always, until the end of age." Matthew 28:20
Your word is my source of life, strength and courage.

off to be who I'm supposed to be right now, it is indeed nice to step out of those shoes for a change. (they were a few sizes smaller and of the wrong color)
|

i am a shade of verdant green
(green symbolizes many things)

i shall not narrate my little holiday in the sunny island hour by hour or day by day. one, because it will make my blog feel like any other blog and i don't want to hurt its feelings. two, because i feel that some things need to be cherished between friends and it's more special when we share it within our little circle. but just for the sake of saying it...

NO BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)
'























okay school life hit me right in my sensitive spots (haha ew) and it's extremely uncool.

Today's ToK lesson really made me kinda dig through my brain and think deep because.. well the group was doing on Does God Exist? and it was really eye-opening hearing comments from different perspectives, whatwith other religions, atheists, or free thinkers. there were a few "i really don't care if God exists or not. If he does, okay, if he doesn't too bad."s and it made me rethink; why do I believe in God?

one of my classmates mentioned that religion was fear-based. i kinda agree because as humans many of us fear death. fear God. fear life. but i feel that with God, I am able to reconcile with the fact that this earthly life is only temporary, while the heavenly afterlife is the real life. it was really hard to grasp for me at first, too. the earthly life already seems so "complete", or does it?

I believe in God.
God's not only someone that I cry to when I need help, He's not only there for me to worship.
He's there to love me. to love us. to catch our tears when they fall. He's there to laugh at my jokes and guide me on my path, and lead me away from the evil of this earth. He's there to save me from my deepest solitary moments, and He's there to hear me when I call.

My religion?
it's joy-based, love-based, and peace-based.
|

the term "kiasu" is awesome muchly.
i don't want to talk about how my SATs went, but i really do want to talk about how my SATs went.

I took my subject tests in HwaChong, some reading room thingamajiggy. Went in, found my seat (AHEM, seat no. 36) and sat down. Took out calculator. Took out eraser. Took out two blunt pencils. Decided to slump in chair and wait for doom to arrive. The students started to swarm into the room and I felt extremely alienated what with all the uniform-clad human beings around. I was in uh, lets just say, not very appropriate clothing for test-taking. Anyhoos, I started feeling super lethargic so I slumped further down in my chair, stretched my legs

and watched people.

no, not in that stalker way but in that i-am-so-freaking-bored-and-i-have-nothing-to-do-but-stare-at-people-and-watch-what-they-do way. and i realized that almost EVERY, SINGLE, STUDENT had:

more than 5 very, very, very sharpened pencils
a calculator AND a back-up calculator (AND SOME EVEN BROUGHT BACK-UP BATTERIES)
tissues (in case of a sudden outburst of mucus or nerve-caused breakdowns)
a filled-to-the-brim waterbottle (tests dehydrates one hahaha)
a sharpener (in case of a sudden pencil lead malfunction)
an eraser AND another eraser (back-up eraser? hahaha)

all i had on my table was one calculator, two pencils, and one eraser. i started to freak out really bad because i realized that i wasn't taking it as seriously as everyone else did.

but no, babes and hunks, it doesn't stop there. 5 minutes before the test starts, someone raises his hand and asks if he could use the bathroom. and then another, and another, and another, and another...

while i was still slumped in my chair, in the same position.


ahwell.
this is why i love singaporeans.

really.
|

i don't want to leave sunshine island


|

very stress now cannot write anything now
today my grandpa played the wedding march on his stereo set and he looked at me with a oddly youthful cheeky grin. Funnily enough, my grandma started laughing and told him to stop disturbing me.

then i realized that they were hinting that i should get married soon.

... dear gong gong, dear po po,
i just turned 16 five months ago.
a little too young to get married, doncha think?


|

No one is too young to pray for the world.
I'm at the airport now and while ripping their internet, there's a whole rack filled with newspapers from supermanyalot countries all over the world in front of me. It scares me that almost every single paper's cover article is on the swine flu.

Mexico, California, ...
Isn't it terrifying? It isn't mere scary, it's a global pandemic and it's taking lives away in tens and soon hundreds. During the SARS period, I was probably too young and oblivious to realize the intensity and seriousness of the situation. But now, I really am fearful for the world. My granddad called from California this morning and told us of the severity, even in L.A. the flu's spreading; someone I love is at risk. You know how we'd always say ah no I'm sure I won't catch the swine flu? Well be careful, people :(

so really, pray for the world
pray for its people.
|

idontcare
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
you think i don't care but maybe i actually do? i don't know
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
yes chit i'm arriving tomorrow night i will call you maybe
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
i hate being a junior and i don't want to take my SATs :(((
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
on the other hand i can't wait to meet people i truly miss!
idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare
|

HI HO! HI HO! from home to work we go!
the 7 dwarves are so adorable but the song's been stuck in my head for the entire day and the whole of last night what a long sentence hi ho hi ho from home to work we go i'm beginning to rewatch all the classic disney movies again

i'm heading back in two days, legasp. ain't feelin much fun right now coz of the impending SAT subject tests, but once that's over, its PARTY BABY! :) can't wait to meet people.. but for 4 days, well actually 3, how many people can i meet!? puuuuke. i want my roti prata and roti-prata-uncle-friend.

6th avenue bugis street topshop nasi lemak 7-11 authentic singlish I'M COMIN' FOR YA'LL SOON :] (OMG BACONSTICK! ahem, the ahem cat i ahem adopted on my grandmama's street) pity i still have to spend time doing practice tests now. KILLJOY!!!!!!!!!!! (expressin' my rage)





























(meet baconstick, my fine furry friend)

:( kay babes and hunks its time for me to hydrate my cells freshen' up and start on my practice tests. sigh why do we have to go to college. why do we have to take SATs. why do we have to use 2B pencils WHY CAN'T I USE MECHANICAL PENCILS HUH????????????????

hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah kay the stress is driving me hazelnuts
|

I will Run to You
Your eye is on the sparrow
Your hand it comforts me
From the ends of the earth
to the depths of my heart
Let your mercy and grace be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory
may you draw all men
As Your love and grace demands

And I will run to You
to Your words of truth
Not by might not by power
But by the spirit of God

Yes I will run the race
Til I see Your face
Oh Let my live in the glory of Your grace

|

special's an understatement.
telepathy.
























(funny how our pictures always have this 6 month gap in between hahahahaha omg hahahah)

i've missed you ever since i breathed in the polluted air of china but i don't care because at least we still are in contact and such. we've had our ahem fair share of explosions but i guess as cheesy as it is, it brought us closer despite the whole oceans apart thingamajiggy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHIT DEAREST.

and i hope that this will continue to be an annual thing for the next....

60 years if you eat healthily
70 years if you drink green tea
80 years if you eat vitamin C

(it rhymes)

loveya cant wait to seeya!
|

steps and directions
i hate this point.
this point that we always arrive at after a while
when everything (everyone) is forcing us to decide if we want to take a step forward or a step back.

truthfully, i'm fine with either. a step back would just reshuffle my priorities to something more "right", and a step forward would just lead to more unknowns (but shouldn't life always be about moving forward?)

maybe i can't handle so many things at once
maybe maybe maybe this is why my feet are inching closer to the starting line
when nothing was nothing and that was that (penny and a dollar and a note for your thoughts)

it really doesn't matter which direction we take.
i'm just not able to live through the killing uncertainty of this phase
|

Asphyxiation
(honey, so sweet that it cloys amidst my realm of thought)

is it tit for tat or
an exchange?

when one thing's gained
does another have to be lost?

...pensive
:)
|

Rock For Charity was












|

did i mention that i was a homely person?
after weekends and weekends of being out and running
it feels really nice to stay at home, rot and stare at my homework as it stares back lovingly at me

























Rock For Charity tomorrow...






















am uber excited. WE GET TO SEE PARK SUNG JUN (ahemahem the one standing on my right that was at ACE) SING AGAIN!!!! haha. insert fangirly squeals. and other bands too, but still ;)

okay wait a minute my day's starting to turn out real bad already. i am actually playing pets society on facebook.

please kill me now

ps: i know more' bout you than you think i do. that's creepy ain't it, it creepys me out too because sometimes as they always say, ignorance really is bliss.
|

so my mom randomly skips into the room
and informs me that she "bought a laminator!!!!" and that i could laminate "whatever i want to test it!!!!"

mm, her enthusiasm was equivalent to the number of exclamation marks i added behind the sentences. haha, it's funny when the kid in her erupts out of a sudden.

ppppppps:

im staying up real late tonight because i need to study and i kinda miss you because you're asleep but all the more better coz i'd probably mugggg harder with no distractions.

TRIGO ALL THE WAY
LITERARY DEVICES ALL THE WAY
BIO STATISTICS ALL THE WAY

thankyou.
|

sugar kisses
i am tearing up every few seconds because of my blocked nasal passages and overly productive mucous glands.
|

Easter rabbits are not black
Happy Easter all you chocolate egg loving...beings! :)
I can't find good chocolate eggs in Shanghai and because of that the day isn't particularly at its best festivity. Nonetheless the point of Easter was never about finding chocolate eggs. Celebration, people. It's been 2009 years since Jesus rose from the grave.

am attending the HongQiao service today so we have to leave at 10 if not we won't get seats eeeeeeeeeks i need to continue my hardcore nerding tonight.
|

zeal for Christ
























I will rise when You call my name

Came back from SOAR, the sat youth group ;) The testimonies...so encouraging, especially when the young 'uns step up to praise God. LITTLE CUTE CONNOR WHO PEED IN THE KETTLE haha.

My current state of happiness is so genuine that i cannot begin to express it. It's an inner joy, a joy from Christ. I am ready, to fight these battles for Him! I have found my First Love once again, something that no Christian should ever lose.

I kinda realized today that almost all things that i accomplish is credited to God. I've never really thought of crediting my academic accomplishments to God, but now that I think about it...none of it would have happened without God's blessings of wisdom, concentration and time management. and my basic needs...food, shelter

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a sinle hour to his life? - Matthew 6:25-27

scurry scurry i have 4 hours left to bathe, speed nerd and more speed nerd.
CHIONG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and then it's Easter. the day when Christ rises up from the grave. celebration ;)
|

questions: unflattering?
my title did not make sense,
i just wanted to start it with a q because i've never had any titles beginning with q.

anyways, B. LAW GOT BAPTIZED DURING THIRST '09!!!! :)

























look at him, fresh out of the water looking so NEW! HAHAHAHA.

i want to paint eggs. or make chocolate easter eggs. or do something festive for easter.

so yesterday i was watching American Idol (please gush over adam lambert he is gay i want to cry so uncool), msn-ing, facebooking, texting, doing my essay and eating a banana. Obviously i was trying my best to execute my oh-so-awesome multitasking skills. So while Lambert was singing on tv I put down my banana to type something loveydovey about him on msn to Flo, who was watching the same channel :) and then i got a text from brain so my phone went bzzt and

i picked up my phone and nearly ate it.

Somehow my next step was pre-planned to have picked up the banana but since i picked up the phone OKAY IM NOT MAKING SENSE. to cut things short, i almost ate my phone yesterday because i thought it was my banana :D ayeeeeeee kay i think it's only funny for me. ahwell. haha. it was so funny though. heh. ha. hahahhaha.

I can't wait for 30th April!!!!!!!!!!!!! chit, where are you? i miss you much & we need to talkkkk

ps: it's a wonder why i still talk to you when you tell me that your male chinese teacher is prettier than me HAHAHAHA
|

THIRST '09
Jesus I believe in You and I will go
to the ends of the earth
to the ends of the earth for You
































Once again, I cannot put what I learned throughout this retreat into words. Today quite a few of people asked me how retreat was (even this random teacher whom i know goes to church but that's that) and all i could give them was a big, huge, huuuuuuge smile and maybe throw in a thumbs-up or two.

I will never be able to describe how encountering God feels like.
Just like how when Pastor Ronald asked us WHY we loved God, most of us were speechless. I love God because of who He is. It is INDESCRIBABLE!! As Suz said, it's just like how most of us can't answer when asked for the reason as to why we love our parents.I guess it can only be put into a smile. I've seen that smile on others, it holds pure joy that can only be derived from the Alpha and Omega. Pastor Ronald delved right into the deep side of being a servant of God in the first session... it really set a right mood for the retreat! God is not just a temporary Lord we worship, He is our all, our life, our everything. Like what Pastor said, God is not only all we need...

God is all we have.

Throughout the three days I felt kinda uneasy because it was mildly different from the previous retreats I attended. From Encounter, to Unplugged, to Inspired...each one gave me a big bam boom high explosion thingamajiggy. The whole AAH I LOVE GOD I LOVE GOD I LOVE GOD phase, but this time... I found myself asking God while worshiping : God, where are You? Why don't I feel You? While I prayed for Him to draw near to me, I started to feel increasingly lost because I wasn't experiencing the adrenaline rushes that I used to. Nor the emotional breakdowns, the crying, the goosebumps...

It was only after the retreat when I came home to reflect that God finally revealed to me what that was all about. Like what my mommy said, I need to lower down my pride and confidence that I will have a revelation or breakthrough at every retreat. This time, it seems as though God wants to show me how to bring this breakthrough to others. To be frank, I was kinda unhappy because I had wanted a breakthrough amidst this mess I'm living in. Ack, selfishness perhaps?

The ultimate comfort still lies within Him! I truly really truly felt His presence when praying for others during alter calls, it was so powerful that no one can deny Him being there. It was as if He was just right by my side, assuring me, comforting me, telling me that it was okay if I did not start bawling my eyes out because He still loves me for me.

I want to be the salt and light of the earth for God.
But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:14

Eternal life is now, it is not after death, but after one accepts Christ. Isn't it incredible? To be living out your eternal life in the present? AAAAAAAH okay reflecting upon the retreat boosts up my faith. During the first day's alter call, someone prayed for me to have a renewed heart and joy for God every morning. I really needed that.

And for once, I encountered the power of God. I have never been in touch with the powerful side of the Father because I've always been used to acquainting with Jesus's comfort, refuge and friendship. But power? One word: Majestic.

And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reachign down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven starts, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in al its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as through dea, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! Revelation 1:12-18

Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End... Beautiful One.

For you alone are the son of God
and all the world will see
You are God
You are God
|

to quote from Rex
(yes its my turn to kope things from your blog)

" "Oh My God" has now been brought to a whole new level. "

HAHAHA i love how it can be so logical despite how retarded and nonsensical it sounds.
anyways, i now have a few pathways laid before me. I can choose to be a Mathematician, an English or a Biologist. Or I could be a Sleeper and plunge right back into bed but I'm too awake after that nap.

okay this is getting pretty bad I'm too energetic and it's late.

SHOULD I TAKE THE ROAD NOT TAKEN?!

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S BABES AND HUNKS!

|

Jeremy is my newfound friend
the awkward weather is giving me the chills (no, not figuratively speaking here) and i think my coughcough digs up bio knowledge hypothalamus is one very confused kid now.
i'm hot i'm cold haha katy perry ;)

this stupid dave barnes song ("Until You") just pasted itself into my brain with a big wad of uhu glue.

Thirst '09 in four days, i'm soooo anticipating it. How apt, the theme of this year's spring retreat. I badly need it, and this time I'm just sincerely hoping praying that we'd all maintain the thirst for God, and not just let our retreat-high fade away each time...

collegeboard is now shouting out to me that "SAT PRACTICE TESTS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS!"
right, i'm going to go meet my best friend now and start mugging for 2May.
|

My Dad just sent me a text...
"Arrived Frankfurt after an unplanned emergency landing as someone on the flight had a heart attack!"

My mind instantly grabbed the words "emergency" "heart attack" and for a moment there i couldn't breathe. It was my Dad they're flying on that airplane, not just any tom dick harry peter jack sam!!

It was only after the few frozen seconds that the proper message registered in my head. I sent back an "!! ARE YOU OK?" and started to freak out by myself again

yeah, it wasn't my Dad who had a heart attack. the plane landed safely. but still... it really knocked some sense into me. my Dad the frequent flyer... how could we bear to lose him? someone once told me that every time you step on the plane, you have to be ready to die

but hey, doesn't that apply for every step we take?
a step onto the zebra crossing (oops, a reckless drunk driver!)
a step into the hotel (oops, someone let the crazy suicide bomber in!)
a step into a foreign country (oops, who said there was going to be a hurricane?)

Life is ever so flighty, short and dangerous.

Dad I miss you I love you I'm glad you're safe
Please, please come home soon.
|

something called a Limit
i always tell myself that once i hit that mark, i'd stop (at once). but what's this now? i've fallen too deep its getting slippery how do i scramble out of this mess?

questions.. questions.
It's Sabbath Day.

Rest Day.
|

its early, its late
and i'm contemplating the death of march over chocolate eggs left over from youth group.

how ironic
we just did "Dead March" for the previous english lesson.

a quarter of 2009..
that's a pretty damn big amount of time passed

wonder if i'd still be posting stuff like these when i graduate.
what if it continues until all of a sudden im singing hymns for the death of my entire high school life

DID YOU TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS TODAY DURING EARTH HOUR?

i couldn't pee in the dark
sigh, the extents we go to save our environment


|

intense coffee calls for big mugs
mom bought a few boxes of dunkin' donuts for youth group yesterday
self realization: all donuts are weird, overly sweet and overly greasy except for one kind.
which i can only recognize by the look, because the dingdong donut store did not have labels in english. and no, i will never attempt to learn the donut flavours in chinese.

youth group was pretty amazing yesterday :) i cant believe im missing next week's! they'll be watching facing the giants, this superly awesome and inspiring flick that I HAVEN'T CAUGHT YET.

sigh why am i missing flo's birthday lunch today? wanna go badly but it' just... yeah.
guess i'm stuck with my huge swamp of muddy textbooks.
right.
it's too early.
i'm going to get a bowl of cereal and then start to mugg hardcore.
|

OMG
WHAT AM I DOING?!?!?!?!?!?!?

|

Honey is a wonderful pun for many things
cloying, for the deep web of homework i'm in
thick, for the amount of studying i have to do

sweet, for the words you say
sticky, for your presence in my stupid, stupid mind

not easily washed off
once jumped in
never to get out
you reduce me to a squealing kid
what have i gotten myself into?
|

TO: MY NEIGHBOUR
WHY ARE YOU RENOVATING YOUR HOUSE NOW MY EARS NEED TO BREATHE SOMETIMES??!?!?111111

and boy i really do miss pre-ACE practices.























i'm burnin' up for you baby.
fighting!
|

kerri's energy is undergoing exponential growth
my itunes library seemed too messy so i decided to refurnish it by editing certain screwed up names.

i.e.
"britney spears hit me BabY oNE more time"

do you have any idea how ugly it turns up on my ipod?
maybe not. but anyway, i changed it and accidentally typed

"Hit My Baby"

then started giggling to myself.
yup. at this hour of the night.

heehee.
BUT I MEAN ISNT IT APT??!?!? WHAT WITH SPEARS AND HER BABY MANIA THINGMAJIGGY :(
|

Because sometimes the fever never goes away
















my ears hurt from the blasting stereo sets at the Loft.

experiencing the whole post-performance-depression now.
:(
|

i tango with time
and it toys with my feelings
fooling me with its flamboyancy




































High Fever!

my body woke up at 5:39 today but my mind just woke up. I was sitting at my study desk eating chocolate digestive biscuits from yesterday's dinner for breakfast. I realized that I don't know what digestive biscuits are.

O.M.G.
i wikipedia-ed it.

"A digestive biscuit, sometimes referred to as a sweetmeal biscuit, is a semi-sweet biscuit or cookie, popular in the United Kingdom, in other Commonwealth countries, in the Republic of Ireland and in Greece. The name "digestive" derived from the belief that they had antacid properties due to the use of bicarbonate of soda when they were first developed."

AND IF I HAD TO SHIT LATER WHILE DANCING????????

death to all digestive biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>:(

ACE WAS AWESOME.
cant blog much bout it now too tired
gona shower then sleep
but hey where are you plz text me :]
|

GYOZAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH

ACE rehearsal ended real late, so i was stranded at gubei carrefour at 11pm. until 12am.

1) I skipped into Mcdonald's, saw my form teacher with three other teachers and immediately skipped back out.

2) I received a text message, laughed like a major retard on the steps of starbucks and invited lots of curious and weird glares from the china old men standing around.

3) MY LIFE IS AN AWKWARD FILM

4) I AM SERIOUSLY RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO BLOG ABOUT BECAUSE MY MIND IS FILLED WITH INCESSANT LAUGHTER

5) [NEWLY EDITED POINT] REX, MY TAGBOARD AINT COMIN BACK FROM ITS VACATION SO I HOPE YOU LIKE DISAPPOINTMENT. HAHAHAH PLZ WISH US ALL GOOD LUCK FOR OUR PERFORMANCE TOMORROW. THIS IS THE SHITTIEST AND MOST CONTENT-LESS POST I'VE EVER PUBLISHED.
|

if you want to get abs from laughing,
CLICK ME!

:]
it's cute when you text twice coz i don't reply soon enough fearing that the message did not get through.

This week passed by slowly, and i love how it went by minute by minute. Anticipation does wonders, as does sudden rushes of pressure from dued homework.

I did my previous Theory of Knowledge reflection on religion, arguing the paradoxes of omnipotence. (omg) it was entirely subjective and one-sided, not at all like the ToK coughcough objectivity thingamajiggy. I expected to fail! But I still didn't want to change my perspective for God's my life, my all. Evanno marked it and gave it back to me today.

It was the highest grade I ever got out of the whole entire stack of reflections we did over the past half a year.

For when things are done in the name of God, He lifts them up and glorifies them. God's faithfulness shows... even in my academics. JESUS IS SO AWESOMELY RANDOM!
|

100th post!
plz just applaud me for being such an ebullient blogger

i'm still waking up at 6am everyday.
which is earlier than the time my pudong friend wakes up.
fyi, pudong is the other part of shanghai. I live in puxi. and though merely a river divides the two areas, they're like two separate cities so it takes light years to get from here to there :] okay not really i'm just exaggerating to augment the whole dire situation of me waking up at 6am

i think my life'd win the prize for being the funniest flick of the century.
|

spring, i feel ya!
so i felt like burning some extra calories by laughing and hence turned to crazy frog :]

I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I HAD THOSE SONGS IN MY ITUNES GYOZAHAHAHA
ding ding ding ding borh borh ding ding ding ding ding ding PORH PORH!!!!

school was uber quiet today, what with almost the whole corridor empty 'cept for the few who didn't go for the overseas trips. our seniors are having their mock exams and it makes me fret because i realize how much i'm going to miss their presence when they graduate.

and next year it'd be our turn.
right, too early to be all sappy and sad. plus the weather's so WARM NOW i'm lovin' it.
okay enough incessant crapping

it is time for me to italicize the next few sentences to indicate that it is an expression of my innermost heartfelt feelings and emotions for kaypoh people to read especially closely.

i'm afraid not because it won't work, but because when things go too fast or too well..
the fall's even more painful than it would have been.
you're far sweeter than you should be

|

why do i wake up at 6 am every morning?
beats me.

people fail but God never fails.
i'm scared to wits and i'm reaching out for Him

WHY ARE WORLDLY AFFAIRS SO PROBLEMATIC

beats me,
beats me.
|

kids, i will write a haiku today, do enjoy

|

didn't i tell you
that my life was a comedy?

the audition was surprisingly fun.
ny went sugarhigh with grape mentos, michelle groped me out of anxiety, flo started to have a panic attack and chris ever the glam one was doing weird boy handshakes with ron mona.

ha-ha-ha.

the big bang, or the desert penguins, or the purpler i have no idea what they're called now but anyways, the room didn't have a microphone so peter was thrashed by the people there. well not thrashed but, yeah.

RIGHT!
awkward.
awkward.
awkward,
is my favorite word now.
|

guess what,
today was Friday the 13th!
|

이렇게 둘이 omuhgawh stuck in my head MAJOR HIGH FEVER PIC SPAM! :]


















|

i like to think of and list a couple of things i squeal for when i'm feeling bored or down or sad or meaningless, for example a really long blog title
and dancing
and high fever
and music
and my ipod
and vitasoy
and pocky ('cept for banana)
and purple
and my room
and dwayne
and sunshine
and the smell of baked cheese
and raspberry hand cream
and Veggie Tales
and my sqwaking chicken
and my fluffy pillows
and my potential dog-to-be
and T.O.P.
and guitarists
and BIG BANG!
and all things mushroom
and Ugly Betty
and tamati
and the CD man at gubei
and plasters with wacky messages
and gag gifts
and people in love
and bathing in winter
and my birthday
and repetition
and repetition
and repetition

:)
regarding the people in love thingamajiggy,
it might sound weird but i love being around people in love. (ha-ha see repetition) my friends especially, to see them change and turn all girly (yes! even for the cough men). i could just be giving them a ;) look and their cheeks start reddening, or for those with a more violent streak, start hitting me at the same time. they get all sweet and sappy when you mention his/her name, even over the phone, the change in their voice... the giggle, the little silence as they think of him/her.

it's utterly adorable when people blush at just a quiet whisper of that someone's name.
makes me laugh at 'em :] genuinely, i'm happy for all ze blushers.
people actually get cuter and more lovable when they fall in love.
|

shh,
i was doing the stupid drills on my princeton review math subject test level II book when all of a sudden I HEARD SOMEONE PLAYING AN ELECTRIC GUITAR

well i was going to jump up and run outside barefoot in my pjs (well not really pjs but still, very casual home clothes) to find the source but..

he/she stopped playing.

...
anti-climatic, much?
so much for that little exciting bang boom wham in the midst of SAT math.
|

excuses overspill among all generations
don't know why our parents are paying for a teacher who
admitted to being sarcastic and not encouraging.

ah me the absurdity of life.

i am now flooding my eyes with eye drops because i need to stay awake to mugg like a hardcore responsible nerd. be back l8er. (look, nerd speak!)

























for your glory is like the sunrise...
(photo taken from the tv room in my old house. sob.)

MY JOY IS FOUND IN YOUR LORD!
MY JOY IS FOUND IN YOU! :D
for your love is better than life, more than enough

i think i need spectacles everything's turning blur
or maybe the eye drops had expired.


uh oh.
|

And they think that worshipping is mass karaoke


























AMPLIFIED '09 WAS AWESOME. INSPIRING. FRESH.

china subway cookies are quite gross; overly buttery and soft.
china oreos are also as gross; overly sweet and the filling tastes fake.
china internet is the most gross; CAN'T ACCESS XANGA OR LJ OR THE LIKE.

muh muh muh muhnday blues. miss my weekend.
saturday was the lamest day ever LOLLLLLLLLL

“师傅！我们要去。。errr.. 一个...that uhh 那个很大的韩国商店！”
and so we spent nearly half the day trying to get to morning glory.

so much for that, haha. didn't get my markers in the end because none of the cab drivers KNEW WHERE THEY WERE GOING. with some prompting i can probably recite the entire map of gubei now.

owchh everything still hurts from my punching echidnas roaring in odd desperation. doubly hurts what with the bizarre pasta i had just now. we had dinner with auntie jackie at that uber chic italian place with that cool italian chef in his cool italian pants. the pasta was some sort of beef tortellini... and since the menu was printed in cursive fonts it was nearly incomprehendable. so i took a chance, ended up cutting each tortellini into half, digging the meat out and eating the pasta skin :] haha. not that i don't eat cows or the like (i don't eat sheep though. or deer. or frogs or dogs or cats) but...

I WANT TO BE A PESCATARIAN AFTER I POP A FEW KIDS OUT!! :]
well apparently my wise not-so-old mom said that if i stop eating meat now my future babies will turn out odd and bizarre.
|

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, MIRABELLE.
i know you might just read this so

Seventeen is a cool age. Neither too young nor too old... nonetheless, i wish you cleaner air to breathe, purer water to drink and FLUFFY UNICORNS TO LAST YOUR ENTIRE YEAR'S WORTH OF DREAMS! or something the like :] you've been a real laugh-inducer what with your witty sarcasms and such OH AND

THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT IT WAS INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY.
now i know why i got free cookies with my subway sandwich today.

so much for thinking that i was special.


anyhoos, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUU!

ps: did you know that
In US and the UK, you can donate blood only when you turn 17?
In France, to call the police you dial 17?

|

i think i'm a homely person.
i wonder what'd happen to me in a year and less than half's time. leaving for college might be all sunshine happy cotton candy, but seriously speaking...

i might just be homesick.

it just struck me since i'd be out and running 'bout for the entire day today. youth group thingamajiggy, fedex kinko's (whoohyoo BIG BANG/ T.O.P. POSTERS!), and finally Amplified '09. ooh i get to see people from the pudong side / soar! :] been a long time since leadership retreat.

speaking of worship oh ah bah i left my usb at cell group yesterday.

i'm so going to come up with a timetable for tomorrow having to squeeze all the dued homework into a short 5 hours. ACE AUDs on 14MARCH! :) i can just stroll my lazy self over since SAS is right across the street. March is going to be an eventful month, so i guess April's gona come running sooner or later.. which means May will also follow suit. which also means SAT SUBJECT TESTS TT right.

fyi.
i like my new toy and am putting tons of vids of big bang inside. yes, note the periodic big bang fanaticism.
|

my chinese teacher is cool
because she lets us submit our work through a chinese blog.
which is tougher than it sounds because we actually have to navigate in chinese
speaking of which i never knew what "edit" was in hua2 wen3.
|

BBS
guess what the acronym BBS is?
betcha you'd never :]

1 free period tmr, ahhhh saving grace. i neeeeeed to

print friday cell worship chords for jonathan.
go through 20th century music powerpoint thingamajiggy.
try not to die from iron deficiency. (nevertheless i'm still relieved that i'm back to the norm)
abstain from drinking coffee at night.
study for SAT subject tests on 2May.
stop being such a loser by blogging daily.

it puzzles me; the way different cultures speak. online, i mean. haha.
there's the whole
-! and ** and yesssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^^ and ~ and kkk LOL SUNSHINE BOY
== and enenen

sigh i superly love being in an international school.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA I JUST GOT THE MOST RANDOM TEXT FROM THE MOST RANDOM PERSON EVER

"u prefer coke zero or original?"


dude. my life is such a comedy.
|

phonecalls birthdays and cigarettes
Was on the phone with cheng jia.

me : oh hey! it's your birthday soon. whatcha gona do?

chengjia: 我要抽烟。喝酒。穿短短的迷你裙。

me: HAHAHAHHHAHAHAH WHUTS WRONG WITH YOU

chengjia: 十八岁啦!笑什么笑！

me: HAHAHAHAHAH but its going to be cold so you can't wear short skirts, 对不起。

chengjia: 哦。对hor.

me: nevermind! you can wear STOCKINGS!

chengjia: FISHNET STOCKINGS!! (she said this in chinese but i forgot what it was)好恶心哦！！！


i love international schools for the exposure to different cultures and their senses of humor.
|

HIGH(fever)






































































When I'm grey and old, all toothless and hairless and such...
I'd sit on the wheelchair while washing my oh so disgusting dentures
and think of the days I spent bouncing on these hugegantic exercise bouncy thingamajiggys in the gym room with the rest of High Fever.

Pretty awesome memories we're creating yo.
|

27jan [tokyo]


For You are falling rain to parched soil
and heavenly water to cracked lips

All we are able to do Lord
is stand in awe of You
|































Becase Your love is this surreal.
|

pop champagne for
it's my brother's "13th" birthday (cough 29feb babies are cool like that) so now he can finally create a facebook account legally and though he told me he'd add me as an "enemy" (fb noobs...) i don't care because it's his birthday anyways.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YO!


just because i feel like it/
the weather's icy and more than breezy. i'm blasting the heater on maximum so that i can remain in my very cool spongebob tshirt instead of putting on more wintery clothing.

:) i think i'm abandoning my nano for a classic. hopefully i'd be able to look past its humongous size and see its inner beauty of 120GB. visited the dvd store down the street just a couple of hours ago and got slumdog millionaire. still don't kno what the fuss's all about, but i'm going to watch it after i finish mugging business/bio.

why ah why am i ranting aimlessly about my boring life again

omg i just spent my entire saturday studying periodically and watching music videos and salivating over that super hot guy in the mv and talking on the phone and omg i need to get some work done omg omg omg my bum deserves to be chopped off

|

it's cute, sweet and such,
but i want your best friend
I work, study and memorize best at 1:46AM.

The whole economy crisis thing's augmenting in reality for me. For H&M to issue online coupons (50% off the third piece babes! but that's out of point)... its starting to hit me in the head. I walk into the living room and the adults' conversations always revolve around how blessed they are for their jobs. Some of the people i know by face are leaving because their dads got posted back to their hometowns.

Now that I'm 16 going on 17, I'm actually considering the messy shizz of the world. Everything's like a big fuzz; there'll even be a drastic increase in crime rates globally as predicted by some very very superly reliable source. Clubs are getting quieter, restaurants more empty and fashion outlets colder.

It creeps my tofu-brain out, and hey, that's something very rare. and for once, when I say
What is the world coming to?

I mean every word sincerely.

ps my irresponsible tagboard decided to go holidaying in Vietnam despite the fact that loadsa people don't even have the money to pay for a breadcrumb to salivate over. won't be expecting it to be back soon.
|